10 years ago today, as as a single mom, I packed a 4×8 U-haul pull behind with the kids belongings and what necessities I could fit, and we moved from Georgia to Colorado. No family or friends there, just the will to make a new life. I had enough money for the first month’s rent at a cheap apartment and only $800 in savings. Sink or swim. Fall or Fly.
I had no choice but to make it and all the determination to do just that. It would be the beginning of an amazing 6-year journey. Little did I know when we started that 19-hour drive how incredible this big adventure would be. My dad, being the sweet man he is, couldn’t bring himself to let me drive us out there alone, so he drove us in my 2001 Buick to Colorado Springs, helped me unload and flew home the next day. I won’t forget our time together on that trip as we sang loud with the windows down. We hugged before saying goodbye at the airport and as he walked away I took a teary-eyed deep breath, wondering at 27 years old, if I was prepared for this. When we left the airport in Denver, my phone died and I had no way to navigate us home, so I used the mountains to find the interstate and felt pretty proud of myself, and thought, “See, I can do this.” Haha
The month after we moved, I got a job at an office where I would meet some really incredible and supportive friends who became like family to us in the coming years and I would continue to meet amazing people and those who would become my closest friends there, in Colorado Springs. We found a church we loved and I joined a mom group. The kids had all their extracurricular activities and we settled in, living the life that I imagined.
The next year I started my photography business as a side job that would eventually become my full time job and that’s when I really discovered my passion for photography, people and nature and all the things Colorado had to offer. We went on adventures all the time, all around the state.
When we moved there, our first place was an apartment that resembled a converted hotel. I knew we weren’t staying there long, it was just a landing point. Shortly after moving there, authorities had to tape off an apartment in the next building because of anthrax, there was a murder upstairs, one apartment over and there was that time I accidentally walked in between a neighbor and the person he was pointing a gun at, in the courtyard. Yeah… we weren’t there long.
The kids and I started driving to a good part of town to do our shopping and we would take a detour to drive by a luxury apartment we loved and I kept saying “We are going to live there one day.”. I worked hard at our dreams and two moves and a couple of years later, we moved into that apartment building, just the kids and myself, and it was wonderful.
I woke up every morning and opened the curtains of my bedroom window to see Pike’s Peak and I would stand there for a few minutes taking it in and thanking God for the mountains He created and the life he gave us. Those mountains inspired me every day. We weren’t just surviving, we were thriving.
Those 6 years didn’t come without struggles, of course. I would be hospitalized a couple of times with blood clots, would be diagnosed with lupus, would fight two custody battles (that turned out in my favor but still a terrifying experience) and both of my grandmothers passed away while I was living in Colorado and not able to be with them in Georgia. We were even evacuated from our home because of the fires. I met someone at church and we got married surrounded by friends and family but then divorced a couple of years later when he decided that he didn’t want to be married anymore when our son was 3 weeks old, but I was still surrounded by wonderful friends who brought food and checked in on us and surrounded us with love and support, which I will never forget. My son had kidney issues at 3 months old that he was hospitalized for, but through that experience, I met one of my dearest friends and her lovely family. Good things can come from the bad.
No matter where you live, there are going to be trials in your life. You can’t escape that. What you CAN do is keep moving forward. What you CAN do is find something to be thankful for during the hard times. What you CAN do is keep your goals in mind. We learn from all of it. The good, the bad and the scary. Your strength lives inside you wherever you are, even in times you don’t feel it.
We moved back to my home town in Georgia a few years ago because it seemed like the right choice for us at the time. We missed our family and friends back home and we were nostalgic for the sweet little town I was raised in and kids knew. Life in the southeast is a little slower and I wanted that for the kids.
I get asked all the time if I miss Colorado. Without a doubt. I visit a couple of times a year to do sessions and to see old friends and just lose myself in the beauty of the mountains for a bit. I don’t just miss it because of the beautiful nature and wonderful people though, but because I learned so much about myself during our time there. I discovered who I really was, without all the internal noise and daily reminders of childhood trauma. I saw my own strength and developed the belief that I could do anything I put my mind to. I discovered who I wanted to be and what it meant to be truly inspired. Will I end up back there? Maybe one day, but for now I’m enjoying seeing the people closest to me here and my kids all have their lives here and that makes me happy where I am. Moving back helped force me to work through in therapy, what I was running from when I left Georgia and who knows if I would have done that had I not came back. I don’t know if anyone could wish to be in two places at once, more than I do, but I’m practicing being content and loving myself and my life where I’m at, in the present.
If you are struggling with a decision to take a big leap in any aspect of your life, but it seems scary… this is your sign to do it. You’ll regret the chances you don’t take, but not the ones you went whole-heartedly into.
Peace. Love. Leap.
-M
Relatively Monica 