Our bodies are in a time of change right now. With stay-at-home orders, gyms being closed and food comforting us, everything seems a little out of whack. Now is a fitting time to send some body-positive vibes out into the world. First of all, remember that change is okay. Don’t waste time being anxious about not being able to go to the gym or feeling guilty about stress eating. Life will get back to normal soon and you can get back to whatever routine it is you were accustomed to before all the crazy began. Gaining a few pounds is a reminder that we were lucky enough to have food in our pantries during a pandemic, and for that I’m grateful.
Here’s what I know to be true about myself that might help you see things a little differently. I am the same person at 190 pounds that I am at 140 pounds. I have the same dreams, the same smile, the same heart and the same sense of humor. I’ve been smaller and I’ve been thicker and I do my best to love myself at all the shapes and sizes I’ve been over the course of my 36 years. Life has ups and downs so why would we be mad at our bodies that are dealing with what we have to go through?
Confidence comes when you are comfortable and proud of who you are right now in the present, and also appreciating what your body has been strong enough to accomplish in your life so far. Sometimes we lose confidence when we hear someone making a negative remark about someone else that we look similar to. Maybe you’ve had someone close to you make comments that caused insecurities, or you wish to look like someone you’ve seen on social media. You aren’t honoring your own journey when you do that.
If you have stretchmarks somewhere on your body, are you proud of them or are you always pulling at your clothes, hoping nobody notices? I use to do it, and out of habit sometimes I still catch myself in the act. If it sounds like you too, know that you can think about yourself differently. I promise. I remember laying on my side and watching my tummy slide into a scrunched-up puddle and feeling sadness. What changed that makes me not feel that way anymore? My feelings about myself and my feelings about what others might think.
Truth be told, I use to care way too much about what men thought of how I looked. Would they see me as gross, damaged or maybe my scars would be a disappointment? I did everything I could to hide myself. It took a long time, but I finally figured out that if the people in my life are grossed out by the way I look, then they obviously aren’t my people. My soft and squishy skin with all its markings will be special to a person who values me, who I am as a human, a woman, and a mother. I’m not going to apologize for how I look. I’m here another day and I choose to appreciate that. If you find yourself apologizing for the way you look, break the bad habit. Replace it with a compliment to yourself. It may seem awkward at first, but you’ll see how powerful that can be.
Your worth is in who you are, not what you look like. Let how you love other people and what’s within you, hold more value than your weight or what your skin looks like. Be proud of yourself. Every single inch. Women are works of art and each shape, size, beautiful scar and every unique little thing, makes us who we are. Being confident about our bodies doesn’t always come easy. There will be setbacks and struggles, and sometimes you won’t feel so positive but keep reminding yourself that it takes time to reprogram your thoughts from negative ones to positive ones. You can do this.
You are beautiful and you are worthy. I celebrate you no matter your age or the number on your scale and no matter how squishy you are.
Peace. Love. Confidence
-M
Relatively Monica 